Instead of thinking of an LOL title,

Posted on March 18, 2009

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I’m thinking – Chemistry must be blamed for this whole affair.

Some moron with plenty time on his hands looked up the English-Latin dictionary, found that Aurum was a fancy way of saying Gold, and then even thought up a nifty little symbol for it. “Ah! Au.” (I’m sure this moron was a really frustrated Copywriter, angry that Descartes beat him to the killer “Cogito Ergo Sum” line.)

Chemistry has always made things difficult anyway. Poor Kekule had probably sniffed a little too much Benzene before hallucinating a bunch of atoms holding hands and singing “ring-a, ring-a, roses, pocket full of posies.”

But yes. The potent alphabet combination.
Pt for Platinum. Mg for Magnesium.

The world has since been citing these terrible precedents, and has gone and invested substantial amounts of time and brain-space (of both message conveyor, and recipient)(we are currently not debating the very presence of brain in either, but we will arrive at that shortly) on what is called the symbol.

A little lesson on, for lack of a better word, evolution, will show that the symbol has, well, mutated, and given rise to the monster called The Shortform.

If you thought RDX, TNT, LSD, LeT, DDT were deadly enough, here’s another edge to their lethalness. Think about it. Saying “Dichloro Diphenyl Trichloroethane” will kill just about anything without any known side-effect. Elaborating LeT at the airport will have the elaborator shot at sight.

Just what can’t you deduce from these random assortment of alphabets, arranged as if they were picked from a box of really expensive licorice allsorts? Try it. At any time, toss two, even three letters together, and you will always have some “meaningful” association.

AB is a blood group. ZXI is a variant of Maruti Zen.

AA is Alcoholics Anonymous. CC is Carbon Copy. XX means female. (Alternately, passed out.) DD means Demand Draft. Or really big breasts. (Not to be confused with 2D, which means the contrary.)

IMHO, they are especially useful in arriving at a regional flavour to the sullying of deserving party if I have recently been acquainted with an instance of poor road sense.

KA means Karnataka. Simply add “makkLu” to any expletive in the noun form or attach any animal’s name to expletive in verb form.
KL is Kerala. Here, add “moNe” to any animal’s name.
MH is Maharashtra, so a sisterly insult, delivered in Tapori, will prove very effective.
BR is Bihar, a very brief shiver, or poorly stifled flatulence. WTF were you doing behind this car, anyway?

I’m amazed by the sheer versatality of these things that, as days go by, prove that language itself is redundant. People have full fledged conversations with these. And not just over SMS.

HRU? Gr8. WRU? W/BFF. LOL, K.

And as for pop culture? K^2H^2. SRK. MJ. The most memorable I have encountered is Chennai’s favorite eatery – A2B.

The paradigm will of course apply for Advertising and Marketing, which apes (please note, I did not say “imitate”) such important, key real-life modalities.

D&G, MNG. OMG!

Yes. Even god, religion and personal beliefs have not been spared. JC. RC, MBra. CCR, DT, MVO, JT. BDSM.

I just don’t get it. Y?

I suppose I don’t buy the BS that this is easier. Easier, how? I think I’ll spend more time decoding EMG than it would take for me to say a complex tongue twister involving saying the word “emergency” seven times upward.

Maybe in time I will relocate the appreciation for this delicate art, that currently resides in and surfaces from the bowels (ha ha) of my gall-bladder.

Until then, I shall put one shot XXX and catch a few ZZZ’s.

Posted in: Memoirs, Rant