A Hundred and Thirteen

Posted on January 18, 2013

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“Sulu, one inch coffee kudiye? Little. Not much.”

“Aiyyo, Bhavani, please don’t make anything. We have to go home and have a bath. If Ashi’s Appa hears of this, we’re both going to get it.”

“Shh. Nobody’s telling him. Ashi, does Amma let you drink coffee?”

“Aha. Tell her Ashi, tell Atte how nobody in the house lets you go for pictures on Sunday, or go for, yenadu– stay ups-a?”

“Stayovers ma.”

“Haan, stayovers anthey kane Bhavani. They’ll do combined studies it seems.”

“Paapa. You should let him go Sulu. It’s educative in one way or another.”

“Bhavani, if you talk like that I’ll never bring Ashi to your house again.”

“I’m joking kane. You take sugar in your coffee no Sulu?”

“Hoon pa. No sugar complaint and all. Not like poor Nara Mama. Such a sweet man he was.”

“Alwa? I kept telling Rajiv also the same thing. But he’s so skeptical. So sad and alone he died.”

“Don’t bother about Anna so much. If you leave it up to him, he’ll claim even Harischandra was a scoundrel.
Ashi, yen maadtidya? Why are you picking at your nails? Sit straight.”

“Here Ashi, bis-bisi coffee. Look at how big your Amma’s eyes have become!”

“Bhavani, tell him no? Too much coffee and snacks are not good for his skin. Full pimples. I told him to put sandalwood paste, he just doesn’t listen.”

“Sulu. He’s Shani Mava’s grandson. Obviously he’ll be stubborn no?”

“You’re right. He has Appa’s nose, ditto, alla?”

“Atte, why is thatha called Shani? Amma! Oww! Stop pinching me!”

“Bega mugsu coffee na.”

“But it’s hot.”

“Sulu, tell me.. Is it true that Nara Mama had attacked Shani Mava?”

“I think so. Even I have heard. Apparently on Amma’s insistence Appa had consulted with some doctors about Mama’s thyroid problem. The doctors said, if Nara Mama got married, it could well and truly kill him.”

“What? That doesn’t even make scientific sense.”

“Ashi!”

“So Mama attacked Shani Mava?”

“Hoon! He was angry, so he tried to strangle Appa in his sleep! Amma was so livid, she disowned her brother. But Appa forgave him. But still.. You know how it is.”

“Cheh. Paapa. What a sad way to go.”

“Umm.. Atte, where shall I leave my tumbler?”

“Give it to me raja. Come for a stayover here no? Send him no, Sulu? You also come? Just like summer holidays?”

“If Amma’s coming, I’m not coming pa.”

Swishwiiiiishhswiiishhhhhhwshiii

“Heeheehee, funny right?”

“I’m sorry?”

“Funny. The wind is chopping my cap.”

“I– Uh.. Oh, yes, that sound. Yes, it’s funny.”

“Hmm! Pa- Pavan! You’ve come a long way from Bandra.”

“How di-.. Oh shit, forgot to take it off.”

“You need a light, Pavan?”

“No, I have a matchbox. Thanks.”

“Matchboxes are useless at a seaface, Pavan. Hehehe.”

“Hmm.”

“Pavan?
What time is it?”

“Quarter to ten.”

“Would you like some?”

“No, I don’t have a cough. Thanks.”

“My name is Latha.”

“Hmm.”

“Tumhaare Mummy-Pappa Madras mein hain Pavan?”

“Ji.”

“Mine are nowhere. If that were written, it could be read as ‘now here’ or ‘nowhere’. Like that Jesus SMS forward. Hehehehe.”

“Heh. Umm.. I’m going to go.. buy smokes.”

“Ok darling. Only B&H Lights for me, ok? Anything else makes me wheeze. Thanks.”

“Hey, you here?
Ashi?
Why had amma called in the morning? All ok?”

“loser… nw u respnd to ask if evrythn’s ok?
loser..”

“I’m sorry kano. I was in a meeting, and I just got busy after that.
Now tell me. What happened?”

“u rmr nara thatha? shani thatha’s brothr?”

“Huh?”

“tht short thatha man.. smelly ol guy?
he wnt to an ashrama rmr/..”

“Haan, yes yes! What happened to him?”

“amma calld to tell u he popped it..”

“Ashi, where is your decency?”

“shut up.. listn to hw he died!
i ovrheard rajiv mama tellin karti chikappa
its gross
our famlys wierd man.”

“You’re gossiping about the dead?”

“no bt dis s v odd… listen no..
so t guys at t ashrm found his body
naked..
..
n guess wat?
his mattress was full of holes..
n his dick ws in one”

“Oh..
That’s terrible!
Poor man.
What a sad way to go.”

“SAD?!!!
he ws a creep!
n a crookd perv!
pavan dont u rmr anythin at all!?
u rmr chintu tol us he kissd hr cheeks n her ears
thn hre nose
mn her chin
n if chikki hadn interupted…
yuk!

any ways..
wht did u do? went to t beach?”

” Yeah. Went to Lokhandwala today.
Too many couples at Bandstand.”

“haha..so y u changd ur spot?
y u grosd out
derr busy na”

“I don’t know.
Chumma.
So how was your day?”

“fine da. urs?”

“Fine kano.
Same old.”

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Posted in: Prose